The neo-cons love you, Denny.

I listened to Richard Perle on NPR this morning. It was pretty funny. I think most people don’t realize what a whiny little bitch Perle is because of his smug, condescending demeanor. But if you ignore the arrogant tone and just listen to his words it’s not so hard to imagine the chubby kid who wore glasses and always told you about how important his dad was and would tell on you and stuff. I listened for about 40 minutes and heard Mr. Perle say things like, “You have no evidence.” and “I think you need to be really careful about using the word ‘lie.'” When referenced comments were presented he would say, “I am not familiar with the document to which you refer.” When callers were upset about our country’s naked aggression and complete disregard for law and justice, Perle would say, “See? That’s why it’s impossible to have a discourse with the liberal mindset.” I think it’s very disingenuous to insist on evidence when your plan to invade another country relied solely on lies to sell itself to the people of America and the world (though, far fewer outside the U.S. actually fell for the lies). I like evidence, but I’m not sitting smugly at home doing phone interviews while thousands sacrifice their lives and limbs to carry out my ill-thought plans for a New American Century, simultaneously talking down my nose and out the side of my mouth. And this talk of ruthless dictators is further disingenuity: why should we be concerned about taking one down while we’ve propped up so many? Even Saddam at one time shook hands and shared dinner with Donald Rumsfeld. Plenty more besides are roaming even now. (I wonder: if Pinochet falls hard enough, will Kissinger be implicated as well?)

He had a flunky with him whose name I can’t recall now, a professor of some sort, author of papers and such, sounded a little gay. This fellow at one point said that he was flattered to be called a neo-con. Later he made a statement that seemed to imply that neo-cons were just a figment of liberal imaginations, raving lunatics to the one. Clearly, raving lunatics rule the day.

It’s about the oil. We all must be able to see that. I know it’s comforting to believe that our president is a good man and that he really does care about all the death and disfigurement that is occurring on his watch, even as I write this, but the evidence clearly shows that that is not true.

George W. Bush was an unremarkable student who was floated by his exceptionally well-connected parents through prestigious schools, into the military, into a career, and finally into public office. He has nothing to be proud of in his personal history, no accomplishments to speak of. The college years? What was his grade point average? The National Guard? Did he even show up? Do you know the difference between going AWOL and deserting? His business career? Ran his company into the ground but managed to sell his stock just before it tanked. Normally that sort of thing would be investigated by the SEC, but not if your parents are well-connected, like George’s are. Seriously, the guy is a big loser. I feel very strongly that people who support him swallow massive doses of denial every day for breakfast, or studiously avoid doing any research at all. Well, some people support him for good reasons (I use the term “good” loosely), but those are the small group of insanely rich people to whom the Bush Presidency owes its success. Without their money and support the massive propaganda machines such as Fox News and the Washington Times couldn’t exist, and if they didn’t exist no one could have been tricked into believing that Saddam posed a threat to anyone other than the Kurds. Did you know that the Washington Times is owned by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon? Did you know that he bleeds something like $10,000,000 a year to keep that paper running, and that its only reason for existing is to spew poorly written propaganda for the administration? Moonies. Yeah, that’s right. George and all the rest of them owe that raving lunatic big time. Money talks, my friend. Even if you are bat-shit nuts, a large enough pile of money will win you friends in high places, George W. Bush for instance.

The petroleum is killing us. This is something else we all must be able to see. It’s bad. Simple as that. The combustion engine is a horrible design that produces too much pollution, wastes too much fuel, and delivers too little power. That may be hard to see when you feel the vibrating rush of a V8 hemi growling down the highway, but just stop and look at the cost of gas and the mileage vehicles get. It’s pathetic. We can do better, a lot better. But it will be hard.

We’re addicted to oil. The Saudi Arabian theocracy has so much money invested in our economy that if they were to pull out right now, if we were to suddenly stop buying super-tankers full of oil, the United States would plunge into ruin. Oh sure, the environment would benefit, but we’d become a third-world country overnight. Quitting the oil will be painful, extremely painful, but continuing to be a junky sucks, and it will ruin us. Addicts always quit, either by force of will or force of death. Which path will we take? Already, we see the price of oil has spiked considerably, not just the cost at the pump, but now we pay with human lives. How do you feel about that? Next time you’re at the pump, imagine that it’s human blood you’re injecting. Feel good? Like it? Yeah, baby, unleaded premium O positive. Good to the last drop. Hey look! I think that was cousin Denny I just pumped into my Hummer! Thanks Denny! If you hadn’t died in Mosul last week, I couldn’t go 4-wheeling tonight. You the man, Denny. You the man.


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