Nattering Radio

“Nattering nabobs of negativism.”

William Saffire (whose name is an anagram of “a slim, frail wife”) apparently wrote this, and Spiro Agnew (whose name is an anagram of “grow a penis”) apparently said it. Agnew was vice-president to Richard Nixon; they were two peas in the most politically corrupt pod we’ve seen (at least until the second Bush administration). Saffire is a hired gun who writes, among other things, speeches for politicians. In that capacity it’s safe to assume that genuine, heart-felt sentiments will be rare. No one has ever won an election by spilling his own guts; evisceration is only something you do to your oponents, which is where Saffire and his fellow eunuchs come in. They write what they’re told to write, what needs to be written in order to further the agenda of those who sign the checks. Money talks and bullshit is what they’re paid to write.

In a recent interview, Terry Gross spoke with Richard Viguerie, “the funding father of the conservative movement,” and at one point he said that the reason liberal talk-radio is not as successful as conservative is that the liberal kind can’t sell advertising. This guy should know; he is all about raising money. So what does that tell us?

Personally, I hate advertising. I go out of my way to find my information and entertainment ad-free. I don’t even mind paying to avoid being subjected to what I see as the most hideous form of expression human beings have ever conceived, worse even than disco. I could spend paragraphs listing all the things that make advertising horrible, but I won’t. Suffice to say that I believe an affinity for or even a broad tolerance of advertising would in the least sense be a character flaw, and in the worst case, a sign of a seriously sub-par intellect. You’d really have to be a dunce to enjoy that crap.

So, obviously, I’m not part of conservative talk radio’s target demographic. I’ve never eaten at Ruth’s Chris Steak House and if I ever do, it won’t be because Rush Limbaugh smacked his lips or made yummy noises while reading the ad copy he was handed. I like NPR among other reasons because it never shoves nattering commercials down my throat. I listen to it often, but I also seek data from a variety of sources to inform myself, which is why I occasionaly read the output from guys like Saffire and O’Reilly, even though it’s difficult.

I guess my point is that I’m really smart because I go out of my way to educate myself, and if you listen to conservative talk radio, particularly if you do so exclusively, you must be an idiot incapable of thinking for yourself and far too willing to let people with hidden agendas spew crap into your life. Maybe you should consider suicide.

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