Make The Pizza Come Fasterz

I don’t know much, but I can tell you something.

Now, I’m no minute-man, but I’m not going to lie and tell you that I’m some kind of sexual athlete either. The length of my performance would be unsuitable for a career in porn in more ways than one. And that’s OK.

But the estimated interval of delivery was 45 minutes to an hour, written in plain black and white lettering on their damn site, which sounds to me like plenty of time to put the moves on the little woman.

So take it from me, if you’re in a hurry for that pizza, just start making the sign of the double-humped iguana with the partner of your choice immediately after ordering and that guy will be at your door, literally, faster than you can stick it in.

Another tip: get the anchovies on the side.

Wad out.


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