Why Atheists Always Lose—Part 3

Here it is, the long awaited conclusion to the Wad’s Place three part investigative essay on the hopelessness of atheists in a world ruled by fantasy and denial. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder why you don’t just join throw it all away and join the freaking hari krishnas.

Cold, hard reality will always lose to make-believe paradise.

Attacking the theists is counter-productive.

It goes without saying that theists thrive on persecution. Nothing galvanizes the faithful like having their fantasies threatened or seeing their favorite prophet made into a martyr. In many ways, it’s as if they’re daring you to attack them, daring you to be so crude and barbaric as to suggest that their crude and barbaric ways are anything less than enlightened. Today, in our oh so modern world, simply disbelieving a theist in many settings can easily be construed as “disrespecting” his or her beliefs. In some settings, it can get you beaten up, arrested, maybe even killed.

Practically, theists are almost unassailable.

Say what you want, but once you’ve concluded that it’s crazy to believe in a supernatural super-being that lives way up high, you have no choice but to view those who haven’t as nuts. The nuts, on the other hand, simply view everyone who doesn’t share their brand of insanity as “potential converts.” This gives the nuts an overwhelming tactical advantage.

Common sense has seldom lubricated the wheels of progress.

Logic is a completely unreliable justification for whatever it is your whims have told you to do. And let’s be honest: the human species is nothing if not whimsical. Whether it’s walking on water, killing the Jews, or invading Iraq, shooting from the hip is what we are all about.

But the single greatest arrow in the theists’ quiver is this: they provide the missing manual for life. It’s a fucked up manual, full of inconsistencies and falsehoods, the sensible bits a virtual skeleton. But that’s the beauty of it: the fragments of useful information the dogma contains are enough so that any schmuck who applies him or herself can fill in the rest as he or she goes along.

None of us knows what the hell is going on. With only a few scant millennia of recorded existence, we humans simply don’t know a lot of stuff, and that’s disconcerting in the least. At most, it can be downright terrifying. And no one should be faulted for being scared. The cold, hard truth of the matter: we are tiny, insignificant little organisms in an environment so vast and filled with so many other organisms (of greater and smaller stature) that we, as a race, will probably not live long enough to learn all there is to learn. Man, that’s a huge downer.

So, why shouldn’t we believe something more uplifting? What, really, will it cost us to pretend that we’re special? To pretend that we’re the best? To pretend that when our brief and completely irrelevant lives wink out we will go somewhere nice to be with the people we like?

Won’t cost a thing. And that’s why theism will always win.


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