Open Letter to Karl Rove

Hey, Karl, you worthless, fat turd, why don’t you commit suicide?

By enabling that other piece of excrement, George W. Bush, you have brought more shame and dishonor, misery and suffering, and all around diminution of everything that is the United States of America than has been seen since we broke off from Great Britain.

Back in the run-up to the first election you stole, plenty of folks (although definitely not a majority) muttered to their like-minded dupes that your tactics were dirty, but effective. They put their sense of fairness aside and cowardly reassured one another that the end would justify the means.

Thanks to your extensive voter suppression programs and to having like-minded villains on the Supreme Court, you appeared victorious. But your politicization of the Justice Department is unraveling. Scandal after scandal has erupted from the Bush Administration and its partisan objectives are drifting away.

Look where we are now. Your Republican “Majority” is in tatters. The GOP candidates are twisting themselves into pretzels trying to simultaneously distance themselves from the shrub, embrace the insane, torture loving religious right, appear tough on terror and not seem like an ideological fanatic. Even the GOP’s favorite bile-spewing muppet, Ann Coulter, can’t inspire the hate quite so well these days.

Terror just doesn’t scare like it used to scare. Despite the near-total lock down on real news from Iraq, people are becoming aware that Al Queda isn’t really the big problem over there. Or anywhere for that matter. Folks grasp that sending a great military force against small groups of ideological nut-cases tends to empower the nut-cases, and that you and your cold-blooded associates never intended to capture Bin Laden in the first place.

The sympathy of the world, the sole salvage left over from our nation’s most humbling moment since Pearl Harbor, was wasted so that you and your incompetent cronies could pursue private ambitions of pure greed, and you are going to pay for it.

The process will be slow because that’s how the wheels of justice turn. You will be humiliated as the whole world sees what a cringing coward you are. You will be made to suffer the full realization of your own utter worthlessness on the public stage in front of everybody, particularly the legions of people you tried to marginalize.

I predict you won’t find yourself in a nice prison, either. No country club for you, Turd Blossom. And when your fellow inmates realize what a choice whale of flesh they have at their disposal, what a ton of fun they get to play with, you’re going to be everybody’s favorite girlfriend.

So probably killing yourself now would be preferable.

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